Spy Wednesday

Today is called Spy Wednesday.  It refers to the day that Jesus was betrayed by Judas to the Sanhedrin.  Judas does so in a sneaky way.  Thus the term, Spy.
    I read this quote from St. Teresa of Avila: “Although I have often abandoned you, O Lord, you have never abandoned me.  Your hand is always outstretched toward me, even when I stubbornly look the other way.  And your gentle voice constantly calls me, even when I obstinately refuse to listen.”
    We can rightly accuse Judas of being a betrayer.  We can even accuse Peter of being a betrayer….three times!  However, when would we ever consider ourselves a betrayer of Jesus?  Have we ever “looked the other way” when Jesus’ hand was outstretched to us?  Or have we turned a deaf ear to God when being called?  My guess is that any one of us would be lying if we said that we’ve never betrayed Jesus, even in some small, insignificant way (that would be the way we see it).
    Turning a blind eye to someone in need (either known to us or not).  Plugging our ears to the voice of the one who needs us.  “I can’t help him one more time.”  And don’t even get me started on the whole “going to church” thing!
    But, maybe even a little deeper than these, how might we betray Jesus in ourselves?  Might we not give ourselves enough credit or ability to do something?  Does fear prevent us from listening, afraid that God might be calling us to do something that we don’t want to do or don’t think we can do?  Might we think that Jesus is asking too much of us?  Might we be limiting ourselves?  Might this be a form of betrayal too?
    Spy Wednesday can be about anyone of us.  Not just Judas.  Not just Peter.  You.  Me.  Anyone of us.  Instead of looking the other way, what might happen if we look directly at the One who is speaking to us?  Or put our hand into the One who is holding out his hand to us?  What would it be like to run into the arms of the One who is calling us rather than run away?
    The question this begs from me is:  If Jesus is asking me to listen to him or put my hand in his, I wonder what things he sees in me that are being called out of me for a purpose?  I’m curious to see what parts of me Jesus is calling out!  Maybe they are parts of me that have been lying dormant for a long time, waiting to be utilized for a purpose!  After all, doesn’t Jesus see more of me than I see in myself?  Maybe instead of calling this Spy Wednesday, maybe we could call it Stye Wednesday.  Help us, Lord, remove the things from our eyes that prevent us from seeing you and ourselves more clearly.