#lifecoaching

Front Row or Third Row??

Front row or Third Row??

Front row or Third Row??

When I look at this picture, far too many times I have lived in the third row, especially on a roller coaster!!!  Life can seem to be full of ups and downs that just upset me, worry me, make me scared, and, quite honestly, unenjoyable.  I just hate the long drop off! My mind fills with fear and my body fills with tension. Life can be a “white knuckle” kind of experience, especially when experiencing something that is a change or transition.

We can get consumed with worry and doubt, fear and trepidation, create all kinds of scenarios that have dire outcomes, and live, well, like the third row.  We look glum, unhappy, worried, not even noticing the life around us. Third row living rods us of so many things.

What would it be like for you and me to live in the first row, especially when we are faced with some kind of challenge, change or transition??  Instead of seeking out the third row, why not try the energy and life of the first row??!! It really is our choice. We choose to create the scenarios that makes us third row people.  If we can do that, then why can’t we create scenarios that make us first row, let the wind blow up our skirt, laugh till our belly hurts, and seek out the excitement people??!!! I can tell you that the journey through that challenge, that change or transition will be much better than the third row!  Giving ourselves over to much more energizing thoughts and choices will lead us to the first row experience! Life will still be a roller coaster, but it will be filled with laughter, joy, and a much better view! I am sure of that!

Life Coaching for me is about helping people see and make choices for movement from the third row to the first row of their journey.  Helping people see a different perspective to their life experience is mind blowing and life changing! I love seeing faces, hearts and spirits move from fear and imprisonment (third row) to greater engagement, risk, purposefulness, and freedom (first row)!  Instead of being strapped into the third row seat and looking down, they are holding their heads high, taking a look at the horizon and seeing a much better landscape, a much lighter and more enjoyable place. Are you feeling stuck in fear and limitations as you try to move through a very challenging life transition, and desire to be free to think more broadly, positively and joyfully?  Then let’s chat, and get you started moving towards that front row experience.


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Regrets

Regrets.  We all have them.  We regret something we did.  We regret something we didn’t do.  We regret choices. We regret relationships.  We regret staying too long in something. We regret not giving the second chance.  We regret hurting another person.

In Bronnie Ware’s Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, she shares with her readers (myself included) the 5 biggest regrets of the dying.  Can you imagine? Getting to the end of your earthly, physical life, and lamenting things that you didn’t do.  I would bet that all of us can relate to this because, as we live right now, we probably have some kind of regret.  But, what is a regret?

When I look back at the origin of the word, it comes from the French, regreter, meaning to “long after, bewail, lament.”  These are words that we would associated with dying.  We bewail or lament the death of a loved one. But a regret?  What are we actually lamenting or bewailing?

Bronnie’s book lists 5 regrets.  I would imagine there are many more.  And they are not regrets for things. They are regrets for the way one has lived or has not lived.  Regrets of the dying are about life and living!

I have a quote in my office from Norman Cousins:

“Death is not the greatest loss in life.

The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

For me, this speaks to my understanding of what a regret is!  The dream that goes unfulfilled because of fear. Not being true to oneself.  Giving over power to someone else that doesn’t deserve it. Making excuses for why one is living the life they are living.  Staying stuck in a job out of fear or obligation.

The greatest loss is when we see something else for ourselves and then we let that vision, that image die because of fear, obligation, lack of confidence, comfort, paralysis, or excuses.  “That will never come true.” “That is too risky.” “I won’t be able to do it.” “My life is good just as it is.”

When we let that deeply desired career die inside of us.  When we settle in a relationship for something less than what we truly desire.  When we give the direction of our life over to someone else because we lack the confidence to venture forth.  When we let the fear of risking paralyze us and hold us hostage. Regrets.

So, what is the opposite of living a life of regrets?  Living a life where these things do not die inside of us while we are living!  Living life with a sense of purpose, direction, joy, fulfillment! Paying attention to what goes on inside of us when we feel ourselves at a crossroads in life.  Not giving into fear. Not giving our power or choices over to someone or something else, especially where it involves our integrity and authenticity! Live a life where our deepest desires are given the chance to be expressed, created and developed!  They are given life!

Regrets are about the parts of us, the parts of our lives that were never given the chance to even experience life!  They were born in us, but died in us long before they saw the light of day. Don’t let this happen. Might these parts of us that are yearning for life be divinely inspired?  Might they come from God? Might they be a call to our highest, truest selves? It would be devastatingly sad to die and never live the life we were meant to live. That would be my greatest regret.  What’s yours?


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Fasting

“A diet changes the way you look.  A fast changes the way you see.”

~Lisa Bevere

 

One of the pillars of Lent is fasting.  There are so many things that we can fast from - food, alcohol, sweets.  Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I fasted from one of those items.

If I want to truly live my life purpose, then will any of those items help me find it?  Maybe, but probably not.  What must you and I fast from to get closer to what our life purpose is?  I propose a fasting and corresponding feasting practice for the next 40 days.

 

       FASTING FROM                                                           FEASTING ON

Seeing life through the lens of negativity       Seeing myself and life through the lens of                                                                                         possibility!

 

Living with limitations                                      Exploring boundaries and beyond!

 

Feeling uninspired                                            Seeking out the things that inspire me!

 

Allowing others to define me                          Defining myself!

 

We are called, during this season, to allow our fasting to help us see differently!  In order to do that, we must remove the glasses we’ve always used, throw out those self imposed limitations, kick the uninspiring people, places and things to the curb, and start forming our own definition of who we are and who we want to show up to be in this one, crazy life that we are given!

Finding our life purpose means going beyond the limits and boundaries we live with right now.  It is an exploration into unknown territory!  It means putting on new ways of seeing ourselves and our lives. It means climbing that mountain to the summit to see a whole new view!  It means changing our diet by fasting from the things that hold us back and putting better nourishment into our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls.

What do we need to fast from today?  And what do we need to start feasting on?  What’s holding you back from that 20/20 vision??

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Characteristics of an excellent coach

Finding the right Life Coach is not so easy.  However, here are some characteristics to look for in a good coach:

The Top 15 Characteristics Of Excellent Coaches

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